Judgemental

Dear friends

Today people from all around will be there to give you tips and instructions on how to live your life. Whether it is food habits, your interest and hobbies or even the way you live your personal or professional lives. Ironically, they don't bother for any of your achievements or loss, while in a few cases your triumphs may make them go nuts with the thought that why it came to you and not them but your failure can make them contented as they feel safe.

I don't ask you to ignore those instructions which obstruct your intentions but at least assess on your own what you wish from your life.

I would share my personal experience. I always wanted to obey others and do as they wished me to act. I tried my best but I failed all the time as I could not follow anyone in the same way as I was asked. I instinctively added my own flavour to my actions.

Like to make others happy, I wanted to be a doctor, though I myself felt unconscious with the sight of blood and couldn't stand in front of even the simple wound or cuts. Apart from that, I was not at all made to be a doctor as I was just an average in mathematics and chemistry was not my piece of cake. No doubt, I tried my best. I studied for more than 10 hrs a day. Made notes of all the subjects. But couldn't make it. I failed. Though that failure is the biggest reason for the achievement of present.

Then I'll give another example,  I was asked to treat my husband not less than god. I did that to such an extent that I never felt the existence of my own identity. He had been everything for me, my guide, my friend, my boss and my life. But it didn't take much time to end my devotion and respect. The most important part of my life left me at that point where I had nothing to rely upon. Still being a woman I was considered the culprit. No one from there who used to give me various instructions were there to share my pain or even to listen to my shrieks.

Looking at the general fashion, I started to groom myself physically, from a lady much beyond the age I changed into a smart and glamorous physically fit woman. Despite doing that I didn't find any change in my inner self. I started to do what I always loved. Physical exhaustion has been my favourite pass time. As people around me know me for my infinite energy level. I started cycling for long distances. Teaching is not just my profession but that's a life driving force for me. My students are everything for me as whatever I've become it's just because of them. Every batch comes with new vigour and new charm leaving many things for me before they leave.

So, once I got what I wanted ignoring the critics around me, I stopped taking care for my outer looks.

And honestly speaking even though I'm too fat today, may be a combination of Karina, Katerina and Ravina, I see myself as an enchanting lady every time I look into the mirror. No one needs to tell me that I look fat and I need to reduce weight as I know what I'm doing is enough for me. I can cycle for 100kms without any pain, I can run almost 10 kms occasionaly without any complain and I can manage all my work on my own. I've a healthy diet everyday. I drink a lot of water. I am physically active doing my daily chores. What else do I need to do?

I love myself. I love what I am. I love what I do. I love what I possess. I love everything around me. I love both my haters and my lovers. I love to live and will accept death with the same affection.

©Anupam Mishra

From the post of Mirakee!